Camp Nikos!

Later I will post a more thorough post about how Camp Nikos 2009 went. Suffice it to say that it went extremely well, and that God did many things. I love my girls so much and I was sad to see them go. Through the week God taught me so much. Now that I’m back I feel like I need to rethink my whole life-everything from which major I want to pursue (I had crossed out nonprofit studies because it’s a marketing track and I didn’t want to do marketing, but now I’m feeling a tug toward that major…I guess God at least wants me to check it out) to which friendships I should be investing the most time into, to how I should be spending my time and money…at the beginning of the week my prayer was “Lord, I am emotionally and spiritually apathetic…rekindle my passion and fire this week.” Well, emotionally, it didn’t happen. I don’t feel any burning in my spirit. What I do feel is like I’m being pushed…like someone is saying “Come on now, Shaney, we need to start heading over here.” Perhaps this is better than having that “mountaintop experience”. Hopefully it will be longer lasting.

My girls rewrote the “I Love College” song on the last night of camp. I’ll post the lyrics for your entertainment. 

I love Jesus-Hey!
And I love the Bible-Hey!
And I love praying-Hey!
Yeah I love Jesus-Hey!

That Bible story last night was awfully interesting
I wish I remembered it
(Something I can’t make out on the video)
It was so awesome

Read my Bible and drink my juice
Love my Jesus, He’s all I need

And I love Jesus-Hey!
And I love the Bible-Hey!
And I love praying-Hey!
And I love Jesus-Hey!

Do something crazy for Jesus!
Do something crazy for Jesus!

I'm such a nerd

I'm taking business computer applications 1305 (the equivalent of management information system 1305) distance learning right now, and I'm sincerely excited by how efficient excel is.

I'm such a nerd.

Indulgence

A bath.
A glass of blueberry tea with a spoonful of sugar.
A candle.
Flower-scented body products.
Pandora playing Iron, Wine, and Diana Krall in the background.

How relaxing. I do think that regularly indulging in this pleasure could do wonders for my ability to sleep, my stress level, and my overall health in general.

Life keeps moving

I took the Myers-Briggs personality test again recently. I got ESTJ again-but instead of having a "strongly expressed" extroverted personality at 90%, I have a "moderately expressed" extroverted personality at 33%. I expected that my E score would be lower, but I didn't expect it would be that low. But I guess after how busy I was this past semester, I shouldn't be surprised. I don't know if this is a permanent change or not. I'm not sure if this is a result of changing places, changing people, growing up, or if I just need a rest.

It looks like the internship with Awana this summer is going to end up working out. I am so amazingly excited about that.

Also looks like taking MIS this summer is going to end up working out without a problem. Just one more little wrinkle to iron out...

Work has started up again. Looking forward to refilling my bank account and getting back my tan.

I'm going to go pick out what I'm going to wear today while listening to Iron and Wine on Pandora. Yes, I know it's almost 4 in the afternoon, don't judge.

And whatever I wear, I'm going to wear the awesome shoes that Michelle gave to me. :)

End of freshman year

Wow. It's amazing to think that I am, for almost all intents and purposes, done with my freshman year of college. Time does fly by. Classes are done. The swing formal was last night, which means swing is officially over for the year. Awana closing ceremonies this Wednesday. Finals Wednesday through Friday, then I'll pack up and move out by Saturday. Life is crazy. This year has been crazy. It can pretty much be summed up in one word: change. I thought last semester would crazy full of changes, and of course it was, but I didn't realize how much this semester would also be full of changes. This will be really different when I come back in the fall. Michelle is moving to southern California. Bennett is transferring. Austin and Anna will be in Maastrich. Landon will be back from Italy. I'll be living in an off campus apartment. I'll be the treasurer for the swing dance society. Hopefully, I will be teaching Sunday School or volunteering with the Student ministry at Highland. I will be taking almost all business classes, and joining organizations such as Baylor Business Women. There will be an entire new class of freshman, all going through the same things I went through. New friends will be made, relationships will form, relationships will dissolve.

Some things haven't changed. Taylor, Jordan, and Stephen are still my best friends. I still love dancing. I'm still involved in Awana. I still go to church at Highland. I'm still in school, still studying away, still hoping to graduate someday and get a good job. Still trying to figure out God's plan for my life. But most importantly, Jesus still loves me, He still decides who I am and what goes on in my life.

And that is something I am glad will always stay the same. :)

Poetry consumes my life...at times

Have you ever wondered why it has to be this way
Leaves of green turn brown and gold and then the wind blows them away
The rose in bloom covers up the thorns that will cut you open, give you pain
And yet the beauty beckons so you reach and grab it anyway

The water rises all around you closing in on every side
Afraid to swim but yet it's all that you can do to stay alive
Diamonds that aren't there glitter as you start to drown
There's nothing to listen to but yet you know you hear the sound

The volts surge through the veins and all the gems turn into dust
Grab ahold of firmness and stability you must
Fly away while you have the chance, don't even think to stay
For even she, the princess, sometimes needs to run away

If you knew back then what you knew now, would it even make a difference?
Sometimes you need to look into the future and make an inference
With the snow beneath bare feet you wonder where the path does lay
Biting wind blows through your hair as you trudge along anyway

Five minute walk, or twenty miles, or all the ocean away
Sometimes it seems there's nothing that can keep your feelings at bay
Listen, listen, please, there's just way you can understand
But if you really care than reach out far and take my hand

Put your hand upon the water and on the surface feel the tension
Feels as if there is a quiet secret it can't mention
Feel the pressure of desire overwhelm your very core
Drown yourself, you know you just can't stay upon the shore

It will never be the same

This is supposed to be a rap...not sure if that's a fail or a win...

Look to the left and to the right, but it will never be the same
The world spins all around you for the glory of His name
You wonder where you're going as it feels like nowhere fast
Digging deep inside you for a feeling that will last

You know He's got a plan but it's just really hard to tell
Sometimes the world has really got you sucked into its spell
God I know I'm ever helpess if I don't cry for your love
I need a little help from the Divinity above

Take my hand and take my heart and take away all that consumes me
Please don't be a deist god and just sit by and let it be
Put me through the fire of hell if it means that I'll come as gold
And I'll live to see the things that You've prepared yet are untold

God I want to know You more and yet this world is all I know
I know You're all that matters yet it's so hard to let it go
Put a fire in my heart that burns so hot I have no choice
But look for the Living Water with all I am and hear His voice

Look to the left and to the right, but it will never be the same
The world spins all around you for the glory of His name
Don't understand why it's so crazy, nothing ever seems to rest
It doesn't fit quite yet but deep inside you know God's plan is best