Do I really give freely?

"You give freely to others without expecting anything in return: Yes/No"

I have almost always answered "yes" to the above question on the Myers-Briggs personality test--but lately, I have been wondering if I really give freely. I recently sent a friend of mine an encouraging text and was disappointed when I went the entire day without hearing back from her. I was thinking about that, and I realized that I do expect a lot in return for giving to others. I expect to be loved and appreciated. Sure, I'll feed you and not ask you to give me money or food in return. I'll buy you something and not expect you to pay me back. If you need a place to stay, mi casa es su casa. But if I do that for somebody and don't receive even a "thank you" or "I really appreciate you" in return, I feel disappointed. Perhaps I am not expecting anything physical. But I am expecting something in return.

I realized that I am not truly giving of myself freely. I always thought that I was doing a good job of being a servant. I realize now what a load of crap that thinking is. If I send you an encouraging text, I expect one back. If I feed you, I expect a "Thank you". If I tell you I love you, I expect you to at least smile back at me. If I share my burdens with you, I expect you to share your burdens with me.

Give of myself freely? Ha, whatever.

I started wondering, though, if these expectations are truly unreasonable. After all, can somebody really keep giving freely of themselves if no one is giving to them? Is that even possible?

I then realized how twisted that thinking was. I have a relationship with the God who created the universe. He holds everything in his hands. I need to look to him to fill up my "love tank", to shower me with blessings and to extend His grace to me. If I am looking to Him to provide me with everything I need-and I mean everthing-then I can easily give freely to others without ever running out of love to give.

Do I really give of myself freely to others? No, but I'm learning.