Daniel: "He graciously didn't let you get more involved so that it didn't hurt more. It could have easily happened where you gave cpr and they both still died, or you had to pick which one to give cpr to."
Me: "Oh...I hadn't thought of that."
This process is a lot slower than I would like it to be. I'm meeting with Kyle (my college pastor) tomorrow to talk through everything.
I have been getting so angry at God during my prayer time that I have actually said, out loud, "What the f***, God?" ...and then cried.
I don't want to get mad at God, and I don't want to go through each day playing the "What if?" and "Why?" games.
I just want life to return to normal.
...but I guess it's not going to, is it? After all, this is no movie, or television drama, or novel. This is my life.
Processing is a painful process.
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