Halfway There

After I take my last final tomorrow, I will officially be halfway done with my college career.

That is an incredibly scary thought.

So much has changed over the past couple of years. So many things have changed over this past year. So many things have changed over this past semester.

And things will continue to change. I'll continue to grow as a person and in my relationship with God. New friendships will be made, some old friendships will dissolve. I'll continue to learn new skills as I pursue my degree. I'll learn new skills and have a whole new set of experiences through Student Foundation and Hankamer Christian Fellowship. Hopefully I'll make new friends through those organizations as well. Maybe I'll finally figure out what I want to do with my life (haha...as if I'll every know...)

Two years from now, I hope to at least have an idea of what I want to do with my life. Hopefully I will have met someone special and will at least be engaged, if not married. (But if not, that's okay. God knows best.) But most importantly, two years from now I hope to be closer to God than I ever have been before.

As I reflect on these past two years of college, and especially this past year, there are some things that I just have to thank God for.

First off, words cannot describe how incredibly thankful I am for my mom. Today is mother's day, and I'd like to take a moment to rant about how amazing my mom is. Words cannot describe how much I love her, or how lost I would be without her. Whenever I have had problems and I need advice, she is the first person I call. And she has never failed me. Seriously, my mother has never once steered me wrong with her advice. She is one of the wisest people I know. I am also happy to be able to say that my mom really is my best friend. I may not call her as often as I should, but she always gets the full run-down on how life is going whenever I go home. She knows me better than anyone else does, and is genuinely my number one fan in life. I am so thankful that God has given me the mom that He has. I only hope that I can one day be as wise and caring as she is.

But where would I be without Dad? I would be lying if I didn't say my dad is pretty awesome too. :) Like my mom, he's also really wise and gives good advice. He's a really hard-working person and is really inspiring. Even in the midst of his busyness, he always takes time to invest in my life. I'm really thankful for my daddy.

I'm thankful for Mrs. McDonald and Mrs. Arnold. Even though I only talk to these women about once a week, they probably have no clue how much they help me keep my sanity. Although I know and love a lot of people my own age, I NEED interaction with adults. There's not much of that kind of interaction in college world, apart from professors. These two women, especially Mrs. McDonald, have given me that interaction I need to stay sane and mature. My only regret is that I haven't invested as much in my relationships with these women as they have with me. Mrs. McDonald especially. She actually asks, cares, and remembers what's going on in my life! Only recently have I realized how much of a blessing these women have been in my life.

I'm thankful for Kyle Dunn. My amazing college pastor who really, truly, honestly cares about his students. Which, in a college ministry of around 400 students, is a difficult thing to do. But this man really has taken a personal interest in his students. While he may not get to talk to everyone personally, he really does care and has shown that he is available when he is needed. After the accident last semester, he sat down with me and talked through all the ugly and confusing emotions that resulted from that. I still have the notes he wrote from that conversation on my wall. I am so thankful to be able to say that my college pastor is a man of God. He roots his sermons in Scripture, and really runs a Bible-centered ministry. The ministry mic and the two weeks of spiritual disciplines shows that this man is a man of action and application, not just theory and words.

I'm thankful for living fairly far off-campus without a car. Not being able to just walk anywhere whenever I wanted taught me several things. It caused me to be more intentional about how I used my time. It taught me to plan ahead better. It taught me to prioritize. Living in an off-campus apartment caused me to mature a little bit more. Still having to depend on rides from people enhanced some friendships that may have otherwise stayed a little more stagnant. Honestly, some friendships faded a little more easily due to not having such easy access to people. But as hard as it is to admit, I'm thankful for that because it helped me to discern who my true friends really are.

I'm thankful for friendships that grew stronger (and, as weird as it may seem, friendships that dissolved) I'm especially thankful for friends that I can have honest conversations about God, relationships, and hopes and dreams with. Friends that encourage me to think in a God-centered manner. I'm also thankful that God has taught me that friendships need to be invested in. And I'm thankful that God is giving me wisdom about which friendships to invest in.

I'm thankful for the accident Although I still don't understand why God let the men die, I realized that I had some wrong views about God that the accident helped correct. During difficult situations like that, you discover what theology you really believe. I realized I was asking the wrong questions and my perspective on my role wasn't accurate. I stopped asking "Why did it happen?" and started asking "What do you want to teach me through it?" I also realized that I needed to be more humble. While I have a relationship with God so that I can ask Him questions, He is still God and is not under any obligation to answer them. The fact that He does is a blessing, not something He is obligated to do for me.

I'm thankful for visits to HPU And I'm especially thankful for long walks and deep conversations with Adam Hardy and Charity Chambers.

I'm thankful that God has been teaching me about intentionality This lesson has had several applications in my life. I've been learning that a close relationship with God doesn't just happen, that I have to put effort in it through prayer, Bible reading, service, and other spiritual disciplines. I've learned that who I am and who I will be doesn't just happen. I can decide who I want to be through choosing who I spend time with, what I read/watch/listen to, and what activities I take part in. I've learned that it's okay to be intentional about wanting to get married and pursuing activities and relationships that will help get me there (thank you Boundless!). I've realized that if I want to get something in life, such as a good job or internship, I have to pursue it, I can't just expect it to drop in my lap. If I want to be good at what I do, I have to practice, be it at writing, managing, or swing dancing. While I definitely believe in the sovereignty of God, I also believe that attitude and effort determines where you end up in life. God can force a close relationship with me if He wants, but He's not going to. That's up to me. I believe it's the same with the rest of life. God can force things to happen, but I don't think He will. I think He lets us reap the consequences of our actions. If we want to get somewhere, to do something, we need to work on getting there. Reaping what we sow is a biblical concept.

Last, but not least, I'm glad that God gives me purpose There are days when this can all seem pretty pointless. Why am I pursuing this degree, why did I choose this major, why did I choose these activities? Without God, it would all seem pretty pointless. It's awesome to know that God planned my life out before the foundation of the world, and He has a purpose for everything. I'm thankful that I even have a God to serve, because honestly, without someone to serve, the only person left to serve is me. And that's pretty pointless. I'm glad that at the end of it all, when it seems like all the effort I've put forth in this world is worthless, Jesus is coming back. To tell you the honest truth, I don't know why Jesus coming back gives me a reason to keep pursing my college degree. But somehow it does, and I'm thankful for that.

What has God done for you this year that you're thankful for?

Think About It

Random thought that I've brought up with my amazing Journey girls this semester:

Back in Old Testament times where people, on average, lived to be several hundred years old (Noah was over 600 when he started building the ark), a boy was considered a man and a girl was considered a woman when they turned 12.

Now, with an average life span of less than a century, we don't consider people adults until they're at least 21...more like 25.

Something just seems wrong with that.

There's a difference between being a kid at heart and still being a kid. It seems most of the people around the late teens/early 20s mark that I know are the latter. And I don't think that's how God meant it to be:

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things."-1 Corinthians 13:11

By the way, my friends Alex and Brett have written a whole book on this subject. If you haven't read Do Hard Things yet, you should. It's mostly geared toward teenagers, but people of all ages will find it helpful. I have a copy that I'm willing to lend. :) Boundless.org also has some great articles on this geared toward the college-aged crowd, including The Peter Pan Syndrome.

Fall 2010 Class Schedule

My first schedule with NO 8 AMs!!!!! YAY!!!

Also my first semester where the majority of my classes actually relate to my major. What a concept. :)

FIN 3310-02-Introduction to Financial Management-MWF 9:05-Potts

MGT 4320-02-Negotiation and Conflict Resolution-MW 2:30-Hunter (<--I am SO AMAZINGLY EXCITED about this class!)

MGT 3320-01-Distribution Management-TTh 11:00-Parris

MIS 3305-08-Management Information Systems-TTh 12:30-Koch

MGT 3325-07-Operations Management-TTh 3:30-Umble

Life is Tough

The title pretty much sums it up.

I don't mean tough in an emo, "my life is really difficult" kind of way. I just mean that life is a balancing act. It is not easy to decide where the balance lies in a lot of areas. For example, is it better to be blunt and tell a friend the hard and honest truth, or is it better to let things slide if you know there's a possibility that the truth will hurt feelings, or is there a middle-of-the-road approach? Or when you know your current lifestyle is not satisfying all your needs, nor is it giving you a chance to pursue what you really want. How do you go about pushing your life to head in a different direction without giving up what is good about your current life? How do you decide what is good, what is better, and what is best, and is there a way to pursue the better without giving up the good? Or, maybe sometime's it's necessary to give up the good to pursue the best.

Right now, I'm really glad that God talks a lot about wisdom in the Bible. That's something that I need a huge dose of right now.

I hope that this post has been sufficiently vague enough. If you think that you know what I'm talking about...keep it to yourself. I just watched Mean Girls for the first time this week, and was very disgusted by the ugliness of the gossip and rumors. I have no desire for gossip and rumors in my world. Please help me in keeping this little corner of the world rumor and gossip-free.

But for a non-vague tidbit...how do you get the cute Christian guy who sits behind you in class to ask you out on a date? :P

Hero

Okay, so this isn't really a paradigm shift to me, just something that I was thinking about recently. But maybe it will be a paradigm shift to someone else.

What makes a hero? That we could debate

Is a hero a constant state of being, like being male or female

Or is it something we grow into, like being a man or a woman

Or is it something we are for a fleeting moment

Yet recognized forever

Such as an olympic gold medal winner

Or is it something that comes and goes

Like a world record holder

Who knows

This I am convinced of, though

A true hero isn't made by accomplishing spectacular feats

Everybody can be a hero

Sometimes you'll be recognized as a hero by everybody

Other times, nobody will know except you and God

But I'm convinced that everyone can be a hero

For what is a hero

Except someone who simply puts others before themselves

When a friend needs a shoulder to cry on

And you are there, you are a hero

When your partner needs a task done

And you do it for them, even though you don't have to, you are a hero

When someone is to blame for something

And you take the blame, even though you're at fault

You're a hero, even if they never realize it

Most of the time, opportunities to be a hero are small

Overlooked

But many times, just a small dose of selflessness

Could transform you from the person who made the problem worse

To somebody's hero

Yes, you have needs too

And there are many times when standing up for what you need is good

But there are times when you should forget your own needs

And that was one of those times

I can't say what you were thinking

But to me the right thing to do seemed obvious

If you didn't feel like being a hero

You didn't have to be

You could have ignored the situation

Instead, you had to go and make it worse

Is it really that difficult to see that sometimes what you need just doesn't matter

That the right thing to do is to give up your need for a moment

You didn't have to come and try to help

Although if you did, you could have been her hero

I just think it's so sad

That in a moment where you could have been a hero

You not only chose not to be

But became the enemy

The choice seems so clear and so simple to my eyes

Maybe its not to yours

Yet the fact remains

You could have been a hero

But you weren't

Sooo...what exactly is sin?

If you're like me and you've grown up in the church, you probably think the answer to the above question is really, really simply. Especially if you were taught a short, simply, Sunday School-type answer like "Sin is anything we think, say, or do that goes against what God says in the Bible."

But could it be that the simple Sunday School definition misses the point?

I think the traditional definition of sin that we all grew up with is closer to the Wikipedia definition of sin rather than the actual meaning of the word: sin is the concept of acts that violate a moral rule (Wikipedia).

First and most obvious problem with the Wikipedia definition is that "acts" is too narrow--the Bible clearly demonstrates that their are thoughts, attitudes, and lifestyles that are sinful. Second is that sometimes there aren't cut-and-dry "moral rules". Sometimes there are--the ten commandments are an obvious example. But other times, we are simply given general principles to live by.

So what exactly is sin? The Greek word for sin is hamartia, which literally translates "to miss or fall short". In the Greek, this word is often used in the context of archery, meaning "to miss the target". It doesn't carry the connotation of aiming for the wrong thing. It carries the connotation of aiming for the right thing and missing.

Sin is not simply a list of actions, thoughts and attitudes that displease God. Sin is anything that falls short of God's glory. So for all of us who memorized Romans 3:23, "For all of sinned and fall short of the glory of God", it's time for a paradigm shift. We don't fall short of the glory of God because we sin (as I thought for so long). We sin because we fall short of the glory of God. James 4:17 is also a good passage to keep in mind--"To him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin." If sin was only a list of don't's, this verse wouldn't apply very well.

So many times we ask ourselves the wrong question: "Is this wrong?" when what we really should be asking is "Does this help me grow to be more like Christ? Would I want Jesus Christ to sit next to me as I listen to this music/watch this movie/etc.?"

Phillipians 4:8 is a good passage to look to when deciding whether something is okay or not. The question is not "What is wrong with this?" but "What is right?"

I'll use a very obvious example to illustrate the difference--boundaries in dating. Too many people ask the question "How far is too far?" when contemplating physical boundaries with their significant other. That question shows a misunderstanding of sin. The question isn't "How much can I get away with?" but rather "How can I glorify God in this relationship?" God's standard isn't a line to be played with. God's standard is purity and treating the other person with respect. In the end, the practical application may be different for everyone. I know that I don't want anyone kissing me unless they're seriously committed to me. This is why I've decided I'm saving my first kiss for the day I get engaged at least, if not my wedding day. Other people may have no problem kissing their boyfriend or girlfriend while dating--that's between them and God. But I don't consider my standard a "line". Instead, I've decided I want to pursue purity in my relationships and treat others the way I want to be treated.

So let us quit asking what is sin and what is not, and let us pursue God's standards. We will fall short, yes, and let us repent and ask forgiveness when we do. But let's shift our focus off of a list of rules and onto striving for Christlike character. For as Proverbs says, the heart is the wellspring of life (paraphrased). If we have Christlike character, our actions will follow.

It's Okay to be Judgmental

You probably read the title of this post and immediately though, what? She's out of her mind. That's definitely false. What about "Judge not lest ye be judged"? That's in the Bible.

First off-yes, that is in the Bible. But it's been twisted. Allow me (or more accurately, God through me) to potentially shift your paradigm when it comes to the issue of judging.

First off, what does it mean to be judgmental? Typically, people say someone else is "judging" them when they perceive the other person to disapprove of their choices. Technically, "judging" means calling anything either right or wrong, but the vast majority of the time, "judging" carries a negative connotation. In my experience, there are several different types of judging, some right, some wrong.

There are a few types of wrong judgment that are very obvious. For example, treating someone differently because they don't wear name-brand clothing is very, very wrong. Treating someone else in a disrespectful manner due to a morally wrong choice they made is also wrong--two wrongs don't make a right. Some more "subtle" examples of this kind of judging are also wrong. For example, cutting off a friendship completely because you differ on a morally "gray" area is probably not necessary (unless they are asking you to do stuff that goes against your conscience, such as watching a movie that has content you are not comfortable with).

However, most of the time when people complain about other people being "judgmental", they are simply complaining that someone else has a moral issue with a choice they made. Most of the time the people haven't actually treated them disrespectfully, but they can't stand the thought that anyone would dare make a moral judgment about their choice.

Making moral judgments about other people's choices, however, is not just okay--it's necessary. It's necessary in order to decide how much time you should be spending with someone. It's necessary in order to know how to pray for them. It's necessary so that you don't get sucked into their wrong choices. It's necessary because the Bible commands it.

Are you serious? You may be asking. Completely:

Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment. John 7:24

And the verse that you're probably quoting in your head right now in order to refute me? Let's take a look at that verse in context:

1Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

³"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Matthew 7:1-5

First off, let's think about the crowds that Jesus was talking to. These were a very religious people, taught by the Scribes and the Pharisees, two religious groups that are well-known for their legalism. They were concerned with the correct religious appearance on the outside, not about their heart attitude toward God. Judging with a wrong attitude is wrong.

But that doesn't mean that all judgment is wrong. Take a second look at verse 5 again. Most people just see the beginning part "First take the plank out of your own eye..." and miss the second part "...and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." It's assumed that eventually you will remove the speck from your brother's eye. You're not going to just leave it there.

What Jesus is saying in this passage is NOT "You're not perfect, so don't judge anyone" like so many people think He's saying. What He's actually doing is warning us about judging. As is said in verse 2, others will judge us the way we judge others. If you get onto somebody about not spending time in the Word daily, people will hold you accountable to be in the Word daily. If you question people's choices of friends, people will scrutinize who you choose to befriend. Be sure that you are right with God in a particular area before making a moral judgment about someone else in that same area. Beware the plank in your eye before judging the speck in your brother's.

So if you're disobedient to your parents, don't confront your friend about his or her disobedience to their parents. First, deal with your sin before confronting someone else about theirs. But don't use this passage to avoid confronting fellow brothers and sisters in Christ about their sin. And definitely avoid using the passage in order to justify not using discernment at all.

As long as your motives and behavior are in line, making judgments about others behavior is not just okay, it's required. Sometimes you won't come to a definite decision--you may decide that it's a gray area. But you need to be exercising discernment.

And if you feel that someone else has been judgmental of you, it may be time to step back and re-evaluate. Too many times, people put up walls and refuse to listen to other people, saying "Don't judge me" and using the Bible improperly to justify their defensiveness. If you feel that you have been judged, there are a few questions I have for you:

Is it possible that they're right? Or at the very least, that they see something that you don't? Even if they are being wrongfully judgmental, we should always be looking to see if their's some truth in what they're saying.

Have they actually changed how they're treating you because of your choice? Are they treating you disrespectfully? Most of the time, people haven't changed their behavior. We just feel like they have because we expect their disapproval. If they have changed their behavior, is it justified? For example, have they stopped hanging around you because they are uncomfortable with a behavior, such as excessive drinking or cussing?

Have you changed the way you've treated them? Have you given them a reason to be wary of you? I have had people tell me outright "Don't you dare be judgmental of me" right after telling me about something I don't approve of. To put it bluntly, that puts me in a really difficult spot! Especially if it's a brother or sister in Christ. Notice that you're doing the same thing you're accusing the other person of doing--being judgmental! If you change your behavior or attitude towards others, of course they're probably going to change their behavior and attitude towards you.

There is a lot of judging going on in this world that is wrong. A lot. But our culture has gone to the opposite end of the extreme in teaching that all judgment is wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is okay to be judgmental. Don't be scared of morally discerning other's actions. As long as your motives are right and your basing your discernment upon God's Word, judge with confidence. If you feel that you've been judged, it may be time for a paradigm shift on your end.

Judge with right judgment.